Why Your Therapist Won’t Tell You What To Do (and What They Do Instead)
It’s frustrating, right? You walk into therapy thinking, Finally, someone who’s going to help me figure this out! But then, instead of a neat, step-by-step guide to life, you get… questions. Lots of questions.
You might be wondering: Why won’t my therapist just tell me what to do? You’re paying them, after all—shouldn’t they just hand over the answers? Here’s the thing: therapy doesn’t work like a GPS. Therapists aren’t here to tell you to turn left, right, or make a U-turn on your life choices.
Instead, therapists are here to help you figure out how to build your own internal compass. It might take longer than you’d like (and it’s not always fun), but the payoff is worth it. Here’s why we do what we do—and what’s really going on in those sessions.
Therapists Aren’t Bossing You Around for a Reason
Sure, we could tell you what to do. Quit your job! Dump your partner! Eat more vegetables! But let’s be real—how well does it go when someone else tells you how to live your life? Exactly.
Therapy isn’t about me—or any therapist—deciding what’s best for you. It’s about you deciding what’s best for you. Because when you’re the one making the call, you’re more likely to follow through, and it’s more likely to stick. Plus, my life advice might work for me (buy the good coffee), but that doesn’t mean it’ll work for you.
What’s Really Happening in Therapy
So if I’m not here to tell you what to do, what am I doing? Glad you asked!
Asking the Big (and Sometimes Annoying) Questions
Therapists love a good question. What’s important to you? What’s holding you back? How would that decision feel in five years? These questions might feel a little ugh, but they’re not random. They’re designed to help you untangle the thoughts in your head and figure out what really matters to you.Helping You Map Out Your Options
I’m not here to decide for you, but I will help you see the possibilities. It’s like I’m sitting in the passenger seat of your road trip, pointing out the exits you might’ve missed and letting you choose which way to go.Giving You New Ways to Think About Stuff
Sometimes, you can’t see the forest for the trees. That’s where a therapist comes in. I might notice patterns in your choices, point out something you’re avoiding, or give you a different way to look at a problem. Think of it as fresh eyes on the puzzle.Boosting Your Confidence
Let’s be honest—sometimes, life feels like one big game of I don’t know what I’m doing. Therapy is about building up your confidence so you can trust your instincts, even when things feel hard or uncertain. Because you’ve got this—really.
Why Therapists Won’t Just Hand You the Answer
If I just handed you advice, it wouldn’t really fit you. Therapy isn’t about giving quick fixes—it’s about helping you build tools that work for the long haul.
Here’s the kicker: figuring it out yourself is where the real growth happens. Sure, it’s slower. And yeah, sometimes you wish there was a magic wand. But the process of digging deep, learning what you need, and making your own choices? That’s where the good stuff is.
Okay, But What Does This Mean for You?
If you’re sitting in therapy thinking, Why aren’t they just fixing my life?, here’s the truth: your therapist isn’t withholding answers to mess with you. They’re doing it because they believe in your ability to figure things out.
So, no, I’m not going to tell you what to do. But I will help you find your way. We’ll ask the hard questions, dig into the tough stuff, and maybe even laugh about how messy life can be along the way.
In the end, therapy isn’t about someone else telling you what’s right. It’s about you learning to trust yourself. And when you get there, it’s not just worth it—it’s empowering.
Contact me to get started or learn more about my specialties, such as therapy for trauma.
