How to Support a Loved One in Recovery During the Holidays (Without Making It Awkward)

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and cookies shaped like snowmen. But when you have a loved one in recovery, it can feel like navigating a minefield of emotional landmines—and possibly a few real ones (if Aunt Carol starts talking politics again). The good news? You’re not alone, and there are ways to make the holidays supportive and celebratory without anyone feeling uncomfortable or overwhelmed.

The Problem: Holidays Can Be Triggering

Let’s face it: the holidays come with stress. There’s the shopping, the cooking, the never-ending loop of “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” Add recovery into the mix, and it’s easy to see how the season’s usual pressures can feel magnified. Alcohol and other substances are often front and center at gatherings, and family dynamics can bring up old wounds. For someone in recovery, these triggers can make the holidays feel more like a test than a celebration.

As someone who cares about your loved one, you want to be supportive, but it’s easy to overthink it. Are you doing too much? Not enough? Should you talk about their recovery or act like it doesn’t exist? Here’s where a little guidance can help.

The Solution: Tips for Supporting a Loved One in Recovery

1. Ask Instead of Assume

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what’s best, but recovery is deeply personal. A simple, “How can I make the holidays easier for you?” goes a long way. Maybe they’d prefer a mocktail station, or maybe they’d rather skip the big gathering and have a low-key dinner instead. Asking shows you care and takes the guesswork out of it.

2. Reevaluate Holiday Traditions

If your usual traditions involve spiked eggnog or wine pairings with every course, it might be time for a refresh. Try new traditions that don’t center on alcohol or substances—board games, holiday movie marathons, or cookie decorating competitions are great options.

3. Be Mindful of Language

Phrases like “Just one drink won’t hurt” or “It’s the holidays—live a little!” can feel dismissive or even harmful. Recovery is hard work, and honoring your loved one’s boundaries shows respect for their journey.

4. Know Your Limits

Supporting someone in recovery doesn’t mean you need to take on the weight of their struggles alone. It’s okay to admit you don’t have all the answers. That’s where a substance abuse therapist or drug and alcohol abuse counseling can be invaluable—not just for them, but for you. A therapist can help you navigate these moments with compassion and clarity, offering guidance tailored to your specific situation.

5. Set the Example

You don’t have to preach sobriety or make grand gestures. Sometimes, being a quiet source of support is the best thing you can do. If you’re hosting, have plenty of non-alcoholic options available and don’t make a big deal about it.

When You Need Support Too

Here’s the truth: Loving someone in recovery can be tough. You might feel like you’re walking on eggshells or second-guessing yourself at every turn. That’s normal. What’s not helpful is trying to do it all alone. Talking to a professional—like a substance abuse therapist—can give you tools to communicate better, set boundaries, and support your loved one without losing yourself in the process.

Therapy isn’t just for the person in recovery. It’s for the people who love them too. Working with a substance abuse counselor can help you sort through your feelings, manage your stress, and create a healthier dynamic for everyone involved.

Why It’s Worth It

The holidays are a time for connection, and recovery doesn’t have to be a barrier to that—it can be a reason to build deeper, more meaningful relationships. By being present, thoughtful, and open to learning, you’re not only helping your loved one thrive in their recovery journey but also creating a holiday season that feels good for everyone (yes, even Aunt Carol).

And who knows? Maybe this year, the highlight of the holidays won’t be the eggnog but the memories you create together—clear-headed, joyful, and drama-free. Okay, maybe not drama-free, but we can dream, right?

Contact me to get started or learn more about my specialties, such as substance abuse counseling.